it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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