Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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