am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
