You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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