I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
