He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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