He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize