he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
