These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
