Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
