I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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