When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize