I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
