weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
one might say we're banned from that church
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
