Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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