Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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