Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
