she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
