Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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