I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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