Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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