I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We left an ass print on the piano.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
