i will never coherently bang her
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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