I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
