can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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