so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
