I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
