I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
