if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
