Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
