I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
