But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
