Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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