i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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