my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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