im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
