well you can't waste a boner
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
