So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Houston, we have a blender
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
