We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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