I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
