I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
