My first STD was from a foam party
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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