i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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