dude i'm inner monologue high
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
