I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
