I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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