She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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