ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
