I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
