do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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