Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
