I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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