I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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