question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize