We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
