That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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